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“Are you still searching or are you already living?”, initializes the profile text of Janett, 36. Her passions are Outdoors, Spirituality, Dogs, and Coffee. It seems we matched on Tinder 7 years ago but we never chatted there. Looking at her profile picture now, it suddenly hits me: we already matched before on some other dating platform. We even went on a spontaneous date. Went for a walk together. I almost forgot. So many years, dates, and names with faces happened since then. I wonder what she’s up to now. Let’s continue reading her self-description.
Prefers deep talks to superficiality, sporty, self-reflective, open, honest, empathetic, silence, road to awareness, fight the ego, laugh-laugh-laugh, rather book than Netflix.
no go’s: shyness, “Hello, what’s up?”, smoking, more than one selfie
Well, that’s oddly specific. And hypocritical as well. We both have more than one selfie on our profiles. Whatever. That’s the least perplexing thing on the list. I don’t remember her being overly into ‘deep’ talks, neither self-aware nor empathetic. What I do remember is her not understanding me, be it lifestyle, philosophical points of view, or much else. I also remember her criticizing my posture and lack of body tension. Which compliments my view of the basic, ignorant, uneducated, superficial, unempathetic person I felt sorry for back then.
Maybe she changed and is a better person now. Like…a completely different person. Like…performing a 180-degree character turn better than Tony Hawk on a skateboard. Looks like she stopped smoking, too. Good for her.
Oh, by the way, I requested to follow her on Instagram and she accepted seconds/minutes later. I wonder if she even remembers who I am. Her Instagram profile text says something like this: EX – Sports girl -> New Life @ VIPASSANA Meditation Center, Thailand 🕉🧘💗
Fits the narrative.
ChatGPT, round out my short story
I decide to message her, despite my doubts and reservations. I want to know if she truly has changed, or if this is just a facade. I ask her if she remembers me, and she responds almost immediately, saying that she does indeed remember me, and that she’s sorry if she wasn’t the best version of herself back then. She tells me about her journey to self-discovery, and how meditation and spirituality have changed her life. I am skeptical, but also curious. We decide to meet up, and I am surprised to find that she truly has changed. She is more grounded, more understanding, and more empathetic. We have a deep and meaningful conversation, and I realize that I have changed as well. We part ways, but I know that this won’t be the last time we see each other. I am grateful for the chance to meet her again, and I am glad that we both took the time to grow and change. I am no longer searching, I am living.
This article is part of my new series, Tinder Reflections. Subscribe to my newsletter to get notified when I release the next episode.